The only thing that you have to do is fill out your name and address. Below is the link:
You're welcome!
Monday, September 30, 2013
PSA - Free Pregnancy Journal!
Hey guys! I heard about this through a forum posting on The Bump and thought I'd spread the word! I got mine in the mail last week and am so impressed with the quality. It's a hard cover book, with spaces for ultrasound pictures, symptoms, and lots of silly little tidbits. The best part is: IT'S COMPLETELY FREE! No shipping, no surveys, just free!
Sunday, September 15, 2013
Relaxing on Sunday Afternoon
Happy Sunday!
I'm sitting back watching some X-files with my kitties and enjoying some down time before I finish up the remainder of my laundry and weekend chores.
Physically I'm feeling ok, but I keep going through phases where I feel like complete crap and have to sit/lie down before I hurl. It definitely could be worse, and I'm very happy that I'm not having extreme morning sickness and throwing up all the time. Often after I eat my stomach cramps up and gets really bloated, which is pretty uncomfortable. As awful as I feel sometimes, in a way I'm happy that I'm experiencing symptoms because it reassures me that I'm still pregnant.
This weekend was pretty productive for me. I did some homework, cleaned out the downstairs closet, rearranged and hung up some photos, and organized my desk cords so that they don't look like a tangled mess. There is still a lot that I'd like to get done around here, but it's hard to do anything when you feel like crap 90% of the time.
I haven't made it to the gym since I found out I was pregnant. Part of it is because I'm scared, and the other part is that I haven't really felt up to it. The miscarriage really fucked up my head, but the all of the doctors that I've been to and everything that I've read has said that moderate exercise doesn't cause early miscarriage. I really think that I need to start going back to the gym because I can see my muscle tone disappearing and it's making me sad. All of the hard work I put into getting where I was cannot be in vain! I will have to make more of an effort to exercise, even if it's just walking or doing the elliptical.
I'm starting to feel a little lonely. It really sucks not being able to tell people what's going on with me, and it's making me a little antisocial. There was a show that sounded like a lot of fun this Saturday, and we decided not to go because I've not been feeling well and the bar that it was at is pretty smokey with bad ventilation. Plus we are really strapped for cash this month after buying a dining room table. I'm feeling a little sad that we didn't go, but I know it was for the best. I just can't wait until I can announce this pregnancy to everyone so that I don't have to hide at home and in my head all the time.
I have a bunch of DIY projects I'd like to do in the near future, most having to do with the baby. I want to make salt clay ornaments for the nursery, a calendar countdown shirt for weekly belly pics, and a skeleton shirt for my Halloween costume. Stay tuned, I hope to include guides or at least pictures and links to where I found the tutorials.
I'm sitting back watching some X-files with my kitties and enjoying some down time before I finish up the remainder of my laundry and weekend chores.
Physically I'm feeling ok, but I keep going through phases where I feel like complete crap and have to sit/lie down before I hurl. It definitely could be worse, and I'm very happy that I'm not having extreme morning sickness and throwing up all the time. Often after I eat my stomach cramps up and gets really bloated, which is pretty uncomfortable. As awful as I feel sometimes, in a way I'm happy that I'm experiencing symptoms because it reassures me that I'm still pregnant.
This weekend was pretty productive for me. I did some homework, cleaned out the downstairs closet, rearranged and hung up some photos, and organized my desk cords so that they don't look like a tangled mess. There is still a lot that I'd like to get done around here, but it's hard to do anything when you feel like crap 90% of the time.
I haven't made it to the gym since I found out I was pregnant. Part of it is because I'm scared, and the other part is that I haven't really felt up to it. The miscarriage really fucked up my head, but the all of the doctors that I've been to and everything that I've read has said that moderate exercise doesn't cause early miscarriage. I really think that I need to start going back to the gym because I can see my muscle tone disappearing and it's making me sad. All of the hard work I put into getting where I was cannot be in vain! I will have to make more of an effort to exercise, even if it's just walking or doing the elliptical.
I'm starting to feel a little lonely. It really sucks not being able to tell people what's going on with me, and it's making me a little antisocial. There was a show that sounded like a lot of fun this Saturday, and we decided not to go because I've not been feeling well and the bar that it was at is pretty smokey with bad ventilation. Plus we are really strapped for cash this month after buying a dining room table. I'm feeling a little sad that we didn't go, but I know it was for the best. I just can't wait until I can announce this pregnancy to everyone so that I don't have to hide at home and in my head all the time.
I have a bunch of DIY projects I'd like to do in the near future, most having to do with the baby. I want to make salt clay ornaments for the nursery, a calendar countdown shirt for weekly belly pics, and a skeleton shirt for my Halloween costume. Stay tuned, I hope to include guides or at least pictures and links to where I found the tutorials.
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
First Ultrasound
I had my first ultrasound at 11:30 today.
The things that go through your head before your first ultrasound:
The things that go through your head before your first ultrasound:
- What if there isn't anything in there?
- Will we see a heartbeat?
- Could it be twins?
- How will the doctor treat me?
- What will we do if it doesn't go well?
- Will I stop worrying if everything looks perfect?
- Will I ever stop worrying?
It's hard not worrying. I feel like having a miscarriage poisoned me and is keeping me from being able to enjoy this pregnancy without being constantly worried that it's going to happen again.
The good news is that we had an awesome ultrasound! We only have one baby in there, and I am measuring right at 5 weeks 6 days, which is almost exactly where I estimated I would be. We even saw the flickering heartbeat! It brought tears to my eyes, and when I looked over at my husband, he was in tears too. We both breathed a sigh of relief, but I know that the anxiety will come back soon.
I have another ultrasound in 2 weeks to confirm viability and the due date, and I am hoping that the time flies by!
Friday, September 6, 2013
Still pregnant!
After playing phone tag with the doctor's office for most of the day, I finally got them on the phone and found out that my hCG numbers are super awesome mega high!
They are 3,770! They can take their "faint" pregnancy test and shove it! I'm right where I should be as far as hormone levels go, and I am so relieved.
They bumped up my ultrasound appointment to this coming Wednesday! I hope to see my little jelly bean with a nice heartbeat. I'm so happy to start my weekend on a high note!
They are 3,770! They can take their "faint" pregnancy test and shove it! I'm right where I should be as far as hormone levels go, and I am so relieved.
They bumped up my ultrasound appointment to this coming Wednesday! I hope to see my little jelly bean with a nice heartbeat. I'm so happy to start my weekend on a high note!
Thursday, September 5, 2013
Worried after doctor's appointment.
I was a nervous wreck while driving to my doctor's appointment today. Actually, I've been anxious for this appointment since last Wednesday, when I got my first BFP. I took a pregnancy test this morning, just to make sure the line was still there, and I got a very dark, bold line. This gave me a little bit of relief, but I was still nervous as I headed into the waiting room.
My appointment was at 10, and I got there at 9:40. Guess what time I was led back to the exam room? 10 fucking 40! It was past 11 by the time the Dr. showed up to examine me. WTF? Seriously, just make my appointment for a half hour later. My nervous brain did not need that extra hour to fret and twiddle my thumbs.
So anyways, the nurse had me take a urine test. I was a little concerned because I had been chugging water all morning, but it came back positive. Apparently, it was a faint positive. The Dr. seemed worried that it was faint. I told her that the one I took this morning was dark, and that I had been drinking a lot of water, but she still seemed concerned. Now I'm worried. I've spent the last two hours googling, and man it has not made me feel any better.
She also had me take a blood test to get my exact HCG levels, but I don't find out those results until tomorrow morning. I am dying. I seriously cannot concentrate on anything but those results. If they are above 400, I will be so happy. I am so nervous. I don't know what to expect or how I will handle another miscarriage. For reference, this is what pregnancy levels should be based on how far along you are:
I estimate I am around 5 weeks past LMP? I'm not sure, because of the miscarriage. Waiting is torture. I don't know what to do.
My appointment was at 10, and I got there at 9:40. Guess what time I was led back to the exam room? 10 fucking 40! It was past 11 by the time the Dr. showed up to examine me. WTF? Seriously, just make my appointment for a half hour later. My nervous brain did not need that extra hour to fret and twiddle my thumbs.
So anyways, the nurse had me take a urine test. I was a little concerned because I had been chugging water all morning, but it came back positive. Apparently, it was a faint positive. The Dr. seemed worried that it was faint. I told her that the one I took this morning was dark, and that I had been drinking a lot of water, but she still seemed concerned. Now I'm worried. I've spent the last two hours googling, and man it has not made me feel any better.
She also had me take a blood test to get my exact HCG levels, but I don't find out those results until tomorrow morning. I am dying. I seriously cannot concentrate on anything but those results. If they are above 400, I will be so happy. I am so nervous. I don't know what to expect or how I will handle another miscarriage. For reference, this is what pregnancy levels should be based on how far along you are:
Monday, September 2, 2013
I'M PREGNANT AGAIN!
Although I'm beyond thrilled, a part of me is holding back a little. I just don't want to go through the hurt of another miscarriage. I really hope that we don't have to go through that again.
YAYYYYYY :)
Friday, August 16, 2013
Weekend plans
Yippee, it's almost the weekend!
Steve works tomorrow morning/afternoon, so I made plans to meet up with my mom for some shopping and lunch. I'm not planning on buying anything, but we'll see if something catches my eye. She needs to get a bolero to wear for my sister's wedding (it's coming up so quickly!).
Saturday evening we will probably catch a rockabilly show with a few of Steve's coworkers at a new bar in West Palm. It's called Prive Lounge and it's off of Okeechobee Blvd. I'm curious to see what it's like. We generally head to Clematis street when we go out, so it'll be interesting to try something new.
I've been really good at sticking to my workouts this week. I made it to the gym every day this week minus Monday, and that was because I was just way too sore to do anything. My Sunday run really killed my calves and shins, but I'm feeling much better now. Hopefully today's run will be nice and easy. I really want to train myself to love running. I am not there yet, but I do love the way I feel after a run. Those endorphins are awesome!
I have not done so well with my diet. I eat too much peanut butter, froyo, and cereal. I'll try to cut back on those this upcoming week, but I do not feel guilty which is awesome. Food guilt is the worst.
Steve works tomorrow morning/afternoon, so I made plans to meet up with my mom for some shopping and lunch. I'm not planning on buying anything, but we'll see if something catches my eye. She needs to get a bolero to wear for my sister's wedding (it's coming up so quickly!).
Saturday evening we will probably catch a rockabilly show with a few of Steve's coworkers at a new bar in West Palm. It's called Prive Lounge and it's off of Okeechobee Blvd. I'm curious to see what it's like. We generally head to Clematis street when we go out, so it'll be interesting to try something new.
I've been really good at sticking to my workouts this week. I made it to the gym every day this week minus Monday, and that was because I was just way too sore to do anything. My Sunday run really killed my calves and shins, but I'm feeling much better now. Hopefully today's run will be nice and easy. I really want to train myself to love running. I am not there yet, but I do love the way I feel after a run. Those endorphins are awesome!
I have not done so well with my diet. I eat too much peanut butter, froyo, and cereal. I'll try to cut back on those this upcoming week, but I do not feel guilty which is awesome. Food guilt is the worst.
Monday, August 12, 2013
New workout plan
Hello Monday! Thanks for sneaking up on me and ending my weekend too quickly.
This weekend was fairly relaxing/uneventful for me. I've been trying to incorporate more cardio into my exercise regimen, so I finally got on that. Running is incredibly appealing to me because it can be done with no equipment and it is extremely effective as far as cardio goes. It just seems so simple and natural.
Saturday morning, we went to get bagels and then set off on a mission to purchase some running shoes. My feet are small and wide, so I was seriously dreading the search. We first went to a specialty shoe store that advertises "gait analysis." They didn't even carry shoes smaller than a size 7, so that was a no-go. Then, we made our way across the street to Sports Authority and I was pleasantly surprised with the huge selection of small sized running shoes. I tried on about 6 different shoes and finally settled on Brooks Ravenna 4.
These are the best, most comfortable, and stylish running shoes I've ever tried on. I am so glad that I found them. They are expensive, but they fit my wide, small feet perfectly and have amazing support. I'm in love!
My run on Sunday left me sore but optimistic that I will be able to stick with it. My new goal is to get a run in at least twice a week and strength train three times a week. It'll be challenging to stick to these new goals, but it's definitely doable. I am not comfortable with establishing any type of restrictive diet, although that is probably what is keeping me from losing any weight. Restricting is a slippery slope for me, and I don't want to end up with any bad eating disorderish thoughts (yes I made that word up). I'll reevaluate later if I feel more comfortable with it.
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Rescue me Chuck Norris!
Happy Wednesday!
I've been meaning to write a post, but I keep putting it off. My weekend was pretty good, although it was exhausting! Driving > 6 hours in 2 days is not very fun. But, my sister seemed to have a good time, and it was a nice distraction from all of my problems.
I've been meaning to write a post, but I keep putting it off. My weekend was pretty good, although it was exhausting! Driving > 6 hours in 2 days is not very fun. But, my sister seemed to have a good time, and it was a nice distraction from all of my problems.
Love me some Chuck Norris.
The stupid Dr.'s office called me to confirm my ultrasound appointment. Really? Don't you motherfuckers talk? Do you not look at my chart to see that I just had a miscarriage? Shouldn't part of the protocol be that when someone has a miscarriage, you go ahead and cancel all pregnancy related appointments for them? Like common courtesy? I think it's about time for a new Dr. I was having a fine day, and then all of the awful emotions came flooding back. Fucking assholes.
Other than that, this week has been pretty ok. LOL. We watched the movie Mud last night, and it was really good! Matthew McConaughey was freaking amazing! That dude can act! Plus there's this:
Yum.
I think that today I will make my way back to the gym. I'm starting to feel really lazy, and I could really use the endorphins. I'll do some light lifting and stretching. Definitely need to stretch so that I'm not limping around for the rest of the week.
TTFN!
Friday, August 2, 2013
The Silver Lining
Hello strangers.
I felt like it was about time to update, especially since I'm not wallowing too much anymore.
Time for good news! My sister is getting married at the end of the month, and I'm her Matron of Honor! :)
This weekend, my mom and I are driving out to see her. I planned a small get together for her that will be a sort of tame bachelorette party. We are going to paint some pottery while drinking champagne and then going out to dinner and maybe a bar or two. As I am no longer pregnant, I can partake in the festivities! There's the silver lining!
I'm feeling much better than I was earlier this week, so hopefully I'll be able to enjoy myself without having a breakdown.
I felt like it was about time to update, especially since I'm not wallowing too much anymore.
Time for good news! My sister is getting married at the end of the month, and I'm her Matron of Honor! :)
This weekend, my mom and I are driving out to see her. I planned a small get together for her that will be a sort of tame bachelorette party. We are going to paint some pottery while drinking champagne and then going out to dinner and maybe a bar or two. As I am no longer pregnant, I can partake in the festivities! There's the silver lining!
I'm feeling much better than I was earlier this week, so hopefully I'll be able to enjoy myself without having a breakdown.
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Picking the scab
I'm back at work today after taking yesterday off. I was starting to get caught up from missing work, but then I got a call from the Dr.'s office.
The nurse called me to come in for another blood draw to see if my betas are dropping. If they aren't I'll probably have to take a pill or have a procedure called a D&C (dilation and curettage) in which they remove the contents from my uterus. I'd like to avoid that, so hopefully this draw will show my HCG level at zero.
Of course this all resulted in me becoming an emotional wreck. I left work to go to the Dr.'s office in tears, and I sat in the waiting room for nearly an hour watching all of these lucky pregnant women get called in for their ultrasounds. I'm sure it was extremely awkward for them too, seeing me silently crying in the corner of the waiting room.
I'm still bleeding, but not cramping. I think I'm lucky in that regard, as I've heard some horror stories about contractions and cramps while miscarrying.
Hopefully I won't have to go back to the Dr.'s office for this. I am running low on sanity, and I'm not sure how much more I can take.
The nurse called me to come in for another blood draw to see if my betas are dropping. If they aren't I'll probably have to take a pill or have a procedure called a D&C (dilation and curettage) in which they remove the contents from my uterus. I'd like to avoid that, so hopefully this draw will show my HCG level at zero.
Of course this all resulted in me becoming an emotional wreck. I left work to go to the Dr.'s office in tears, and I sat in the waiting room for nearly an hour watching all of these lucky pregnant women get called in for their ultrasounds. I'm sure it was extremely awkward for them too, seeing me silently crying in the corner of the waiting room.
I'm still bleeding, but not cramping. I think I'm lucky in that regard, as I've heard some horror stories about contractions and cramps while miscarrying.
Hopefully I won't have to go back to the Dr.'s office for this. I am running low on sanity, and I'm not sure how much more I can take.
Monday, July 29, 2013
My miscarriage
What a way to start my blog. I am miscarrying my baby. Or embryo. Or whatever you want to call it.
I found out I was pregnant earlier this month, and decided to create this blog to vent and spare my family and friends from hearing about every little thing that was happening during my pregnancy.
I found out earlier today that I am miscarrying my baby.
I started having light brown spotting last night. It continued to this morning. Then the blood got bright red. With clots. Now, every women who's ever been pregnant probably knows that bright red blood with clots is not a good sign for your pregnancy. I called my Dr.'s office and got an emergency appointment to see what was going on. The prognosis: not good. The HCG level in my blood was too low for where I was supposed to be in my pregnancy, and the Dr. said that I was having a miscarriage.
I feel numb. I spent 2 weeks pregnant, and I am so sad to say that I am not pregnant anymore. I have no baby. I am empty. I expect to see the tissue from my baby embryo on my pad soon. This feeling sucks, and I do not wish it on anyone.
I'm spending tonight drinking wine and wallowing. Tomorrow I will try to move on.
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